This book is dedicated to Jan, Kim, and JoLyn Lindsey, but not my first wife, who shall remain nameless and whose book, The Late, Great Mrs. Lindsey, is a waste of any readers' money and time.

PREFACE
      Okay, so I've been constantly reminded, "Hal, your books have always dealt with Bible prophecy and the end times. Why should you write a book on marriage? What makes you an expert? After all, you've been married four times."
      It's for that very reason I should write a book about it—because I have been married four times (as of the publishing date of this book, Fall 2005).
      I ask you, "Who else should write it? Dr. James Dobson?" Ha! He's been with the same woman for years! He doesn't know what he's missing. And have you seen him lately? He looks like he's 800 years old, which raises the questions, "How many facelifts has he had? And is that cleft in his chin, in actuality, his belly button? Did his wife Shirley put him up to it?" We may never know.
      What's my point in mentioning Dr. Dobson and his life? Why, to sell this book, of course!
      In my book, you'll learn from my experiences, the difficulties as well as the successes of every marriage. For example, I'll not attempt to hide the truth that my third wife, Kim, was considerably younger than me, but only by 25 years. From this marriage I learned one secret, and it's detailed in Chapter 2 of There's a New Wife Coming:
      To have eternal youth: "Marry Young!"
      Chapter 6 examines another of my secrets for another happy marriage: "Marry Often!"
      I can hear some of you saying, "But Hal, what about 1 Timothy 3? You know, the passage about being married to one wife?"
      I've been accused of numerous Greek word misinterpretations, but my critics forget I attended Dallas Theological Seminary majoring in New Testament and Greek literature, so I can honestly answer, "I was married to one wife. One at a time."
      Besides you're missing the point. If you've read my book, The Great Late Planet Earth, you know time is short, the end is near, something I've being trying to pound into your collective heads for the last 30 years! Sure, every one of my prophecies has been wrong to date, but that doesn't change the central fact: We don't have much time! Nevertheless, Luke 17:26 tell us, "As in the days of Noah, marriage will still be conducted right up until the end time."
      There you have it, right out of the Lord's mouth. And if there'll be marriages, then divorces will flourish in epic proportions.
      But Hal, you ask, doesn't having an ex-wife, or several, create problems until the end times?
      That's why I've written this book, so you can have peace of mind now and during the coming tribulation.
      Finally, once you come to the realization that in heaven there will be no family hassles of exes, in-laws, or children's confusion about who's their daddy or mommy, we'll all be one big joyful family (Matthew 22:30, Mark 12:24, 25, Luke 20:34-36).
      It's my prayer that by reading this book, we can start building those blissful relationships today!

            —Hal Lindsey